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Every year dozens of children are born in Armenia with the help of a surrogate mother. Although there are no clear statistics, experts state that the figure is increasing year by year. A story of a surrogate mother
According to World Health Organization data, over 16% of couples in Armenia are infertile. Assisted reproductive technologies, including surrogacy, support these families in having a child. Every year dozens of children are born in Armenia with the help of a surrogate mother. Although there are no clear statistics, experts state that the figure is increasing year by year.
Lilit (the name is changed), 33, helped a stranger couple become parents a year ago. She is a surrogate mother. She says she has been thinking about “making a deal” for a long time.
“Three years ago, we were drinking coffee with my neighbour, when I told her honestly that we had a financial problem in the family. I told her that I was trying to find a job so that I could help my husband, we had accumulated debts”, the woman says, adding that at that moment she just spoke because she was upset and wanted to ease her worries by talking, not even thinking that the neighbour would try to find a job for her.
“Not a week had passed when my neighbour called and said she had a profitable offer. We met, she offered me to become a surrogate mother. At first I didn't understand what it was, then she explained to me what job I was going to do”, she recalls.
Surrogacy is an assisted reproductive technology that involves three people: the biological parents and the woman carrying the child. In Armenia, surrogate mothers need to undergo a medical-genetic examination to rule out contraindications.
The surrogate mother cannot be a donor at the same time, therefore she has no right not to hand over the child to the biological parents.
Any information related to the use of assisted reproductive technologies is confidential and can only be provided at the request of the court, prosecutor's office, or other competent bodies, in accordance with the procedure established by law.
A surrogate mother can be a woman aged 20-35 who has at least one child of her own. If the woman is married, her husband's written consent is also required.
“As a surrogate mother, I was offered a rather high salary – about 30,000 dollars. It could completely cover our debts, there would still be a lot of money left for later”, says Lilit, adding that apart from the money, she was also interested in the idea of helping a childless family.
“I have a child. I know very well what the joy of being a parent is. The family I was supposed to help couldn’t have a child for about 20 years. They had gone through many treatments, drugs had almost destroyed their health and remained ineffective. To be honest, at first I met them secretly from my husband, they were a very kind couple, I understood at first glance that I wanted to help them. It was difficult with my husband, he didn’t agree at first, but then we came to an agreement”.
When Lilit received her husband's consent, the family went through all the legal and medical steps. When the pregnancy was registered, she moved to a separate house.
“I live in a region, the family lives in Yerevan. The condition was so that we always had to be in touch. My child is small, we told him that I went to work abroad and will come back soon with gifts. Those months passed very easily. They had a healthy baby. I am happy to have helped them. When I saw their happiness, I felt the happiest person in the world”, says Lilit, adding that she did not experience any psychological problems.
“I consciously took that step, I understood very well that it is not my child and I am just helping”.
According to the current regulation, the surrogate mother should not be absent from the place of residence known to the couple and, in general, from the territory of Armenia during the entire period of pregnancy. This can happen only in case of agreement with the couple.
According to psychologist Martin Vardanyan, the institution of surrogacy is a very delicate process, to which the Armenian society has just begun to adapt.
According to the psychologist, society has only recently started to take a relatively positive attitude towards the phenomenon. He says there is only one reason for the critical approach: incomplete information.
“People still do not have a complete comprehension of this phenomenon, they do not understand what it is, that is the reason why there is a lot of negativity. Our national mindset also plays a big role in negativity”, the psychologist says.
Eduard Hambardzumyan, Founder and Director of the Fertility Centre, says that surrogate mothers are mostly found through advertisements.
“We pay a lot of attention to the woman's lifestyle and family. There are many stories. We had a case when the woman did not want to get acquainted with the surrogate mother: the clinic and the lawyers handled the whole process. There are also many cases when the two women became close”, the specialist says.
In general, this service has a different cost, ranging from 15,000 to 30,000 dollars. Depending on the agreement, the current expenses of the surrogate mother are also covered during the pregnancy, and she is provided with the necessary food.
“I haven't seen the baby since birth, but we are close with his mother, we often talk. She sends me the baby’s photos. I am proud of the work I have done”, Lilit says.
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